Freedom Ministries

About ten years ago, I sat on my office floor, whining to the Lord in lack-of-faith-desperation.  I complained that I was preparing newsletters to send to people that I believed did not want to hear about the ministry that the Lord had imposed upon me.  I whined about my lack of funds, the lack friendship, and the seeming futility of the administrative task at hand.  The Lord gently chided me on my lack of faith and my immaturity.  He convicted me that I was to send newsletters to those that He had put upon my list whether or not they wanted it.  I reluctantly admitted my bad attitude, but my bad mood did not change with my grudging repentance.  As I recommenced filling envelopes, I vocally vented one last whine to the Lord.  “Lord!!!  I don’t even have the money to buy the stamps that I need.”

My daughter Bethany, having met the mailman at the front door, got some sense that I needed to know about the mail right away.  It was a sense strong enough to overcome her reluctance to intrude upon her dad during his grumpy-fest.  She hurriedly came in, handed the mail to me, and said, “I thought you might need this.”  Then she fled.       

Thoughts ran through my head like, “Since when is it an emergency to read the mail?”  Again, I caught my bad attitude and decided to honor my daughter’s deed by looking at the mail.  Among the junk mail was a small greeting-card envelope.  It is the kind of thing that often comes bearing gifts.  The gift it bore?  Stamps!!!

This kind of thing happens very often to me.  Getting all the stamps that I needed to accomplish my task broke my heart over my sin of unbelief.  It reminded me that we do not believe in the Lord Jesus Christ in vain.  He is alive, communicating to his flock, and intervening in the affairs of men on behalf of those whose hearts are loyal to Him.

A few days later, I thanked the woman who sent the stamps.  I told the story of my grumbling over the seeming futility of my task, my whining about not being able to afford the stamps, and my reluctant capitulation to the Lord’s will.  She fell faint in relief.  She told me that she had been impressed by the Lord to send me a gift.  While she was considering it, the Lord spoke to her and told her to send stamps.  She literally argued with what she knew had to be God speaking to her.  It was something that did not make sense to her and she loathed the embarrassment of sending stamps when it might be money that we really needed.  She obeyed with extreme reluctance.